All images of Wile E. Coyote are the copyright of Warner Brothers Entertainment Studios.
To any Warner Brothers representatives who may stumble across this:
To the great and powerful Executives of Warner Brothers, mighty lords are you, whose brilliance outshines the very sun itself, so weak and feeble is it’s light in comparison to your great works; please, hear the words of this poor one, your slave and dust under your feet, and spare me the wrath of your vengeance for my use of Wile E. Coyote; for truly he is the patron saint of Combat Engineers. At the feet of the vast movers and shakers of the mighty entertainment empire that is Warner Brothers, I bow down seven times seven times. I hear the words of the scribes of the Studio, my lords, my sun, the breath of my life, who beseech me to go forth and do this no more, to which I say, “Yea, verily, I am but the dust under the feet of the almighty studio; fortunate I am that the breath of the Warner Brothers executives have warmed me in these cold times, as they shall surely extend their mercy to me in the face of this one, humble transgression which shall never be repeated, and is done purely for the sake of satire, and naught else. Who is your servant but a dog? and I prostrate myself before the Studio Seven times and seven times on both back and belly.” Please don’t hurt me.
21 February: For the curious, the text to Warner Brothers is paraphrased from the “Amarna Letters”, an ancient Egyptian text about how one (apparently) approaches the Pharaoh to speak. Apparently there’s a great deal of over-the-top humility involved; who knew?