If someone mentions “questionable items” that need to be kept hidden away, what comes to mind? Maybe hiding alcohol or drugs, sure, that makes sense. Sexually explicit stuff, probably? How about… toasters or toaster ovens?

Believe it or not, it is common for soldiers to be banned from having things related to cooking in their barracks rooms. Toasters and toaster ovens are among the most common forms of “contraband”. I believe hot plates, water kettles, and other heat-producing things are banned as well.

If something produces an actual open flame, then sure, I suppose it makes sense. Not only is the open flame dangerous, but the gasses that can be emitted even when turned off can be a source of trouble. I recall even microwaves and coffeepots being subject to scrutiny and “the discretion of the commander”.

But what if you want this stuff? Easy. As an E-4, you place it somewhere where it is seen by all, used by all… and denied by all if found. “I don’t know who placed this clearly out-of-regulation item here, Sar’ent! I’ll get rid of it immediately!”

A good E-4 knows how to spread the responsibility out so thinly, that it essentially becomes nobody’s problem.