So the Brigade Sergeant-Major comes around for his annual Physical Training test. And guess what? At his age, just showing up with a pulse qualifies as a “pass”!

OK, seriously, the Physical Training test (technically called the “APFT” or “Army Physical Fitness Test”) is done twice a year; once for record, and once as a diagnostic after 6 months. It is adjusted for age, so an 18 year old has to meet a higher minimum standard than a 40 year old, or… perhaps a 40-B.C.-Year-Old.

The joke is that as ypu get older, the PT Test becomes so easy that eventually you just have to show up, alive. So here we are, with the mummified SGM Ol’Crusty.