A new soldier arrived to help Juni in the S-2 (Intelligence) shop. And like a lot of new soldiers, she is fresh out of Basic Training and AIT and full of that “new soldier” mindset– all full of the latest in motivation and attention-to-detail. In this, she is little different from the last new soldier that showed up not so long ago, Private Shaniah Jensens, who also had to be “deprogrammed” a bit.

Emma Lauraline O’Neil is 19, and –being born in 2004– one of the most popular names for little girls at the time was “Emma”. Because I am a science fiction nerd in my off time, she gets “Lauraline” as a middle name (from “Valerian and Lauraline”, the French sci-fi comic) and “O’Neil”, from Colonel O’Neil of Stargate SG-1. As a further nod to SG-1, her dad was career Air Force and may or may not have been involved in some sort of weird secret program at Cheyenne Mountain.

Private O’Neil is still trying too hard, and it will take time to get her to relax. But for now, she ties her hair bun back so tight that it hurts her face. I swear I have seen some women with hair buns like this, tied back so tight that there isn’t even a bump on their scalp from where the hair line starts. I am simultaneously amazed by this, while also finding it painful to look at as I imagine the forces of tautness that must be acting on the head to achieve such a look.

Ladies, it is okay. Per regulations, you don’t actually have to do that. Please.